I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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