your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
