whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
