The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
