Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
