Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
