At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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