what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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