So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
