What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
