I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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