After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
