My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
