why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
