there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize