sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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