If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Found the puke drawer
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Randomize
