I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
