Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
