Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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