Porn is love you can see.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
