wat bout pragnant strippers??
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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