she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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