Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize