You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
