I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
where does the pee come out of this thing
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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