never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
