she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
