I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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