Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
