No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize