Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
