Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
