so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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