I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
