sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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