elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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