singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize