I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
