I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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