i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i think i scared a bird with my dick
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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