...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
