New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
