Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
