He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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