you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
