you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
