omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
