I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You dont lie about slip and slides
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
