she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
