the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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