Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
