Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
being pregnant is like rehab
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
