if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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