We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
