I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
