Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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