i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
