D3 body, D1 cock
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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